Messed Up

Through and through,
I've thought about, over and over.
Neither moving right nor left will get me what I want.
I am stuck at the crossroads of probably one of my biggest decisions ever to be made.
I stood there dazing, often blanking out within the busy crowd.
Watching the world move past me so quickly, minute by minute.
Why couldn't it all be just a nasty nightmare ?
I am nothing but a wanderer. I am not ready to stay.
For once, I am sorry for the lies.
Every bit of my heart aches with guilt.

I held your face and asked for your love.
You gave it so willingly, so whole, so true.
I should be the most blissful woman on this earth.
But why is this all too late?
I want to, but I no longer breathe for your presence.
This heart no longer longs for you.

Someone please save me. Else, kill me.